oh good god

i cannot write this paper. i am having such a hard time with this and i can't figure out why...maybe because every part of my body is sore from stagecrew etc, or because my back is still screwed up, or because my head is still screwed up, or because i haven't absorbed the incredible range of emotions i've had in my system since saturday morning, or because i have just procrastinated one too many times...
or maybe it's because i jinxed myself today by telling i didn't believe in writer's block--oliver was talking about it and i believe that some people get it but i thought 'if i ever got it, it would just be pure laziness...'
so now i do not know what to write. and it is almost 4. fuck.
i still don't feel good and i want to go to sleep.
i'm sorry to be so whiny...i promise i will be more upbeat in the morning.

(everything looks brighter...)