HOME!!!

i have a new cell: 203 641 6857. i cannot wait to see everyone!
:D

In 36 hours i will be in connecticut

i am almost done packing!!

love,

me

hurrah!

well, success!!
after an hour and a half explaining that the postal system did, indeed, have what i was asking for (the bookstore post--just for les livres et les papiers) the woman finally came through with a postal sack for me to put my three boxes in, and i tied them up...then there was the issue of the price--online, i had read that it'd be 4.30 € the kilo, which, while expensive, is do-able. but the woman told me it was 10€ for the first 5 kilos and 2.15€ for the additional kilos. i, calculating this in my head (after some discussion), came up with a price in the 90€ range, considering i had 17.8 kilos. but in fact, i had understood wrong and it wasn't ten euros per kilo for the first five, it was just ten euros total for the first five and then 2 something for the additional ones.

wow, i'm boring even myself to tears. sorry.

so i ended up paying 36 € to send 17 kilos of books home...i have won!!

anyway, here is my done is good list, since i need to get back in the bmc spirit:
( ) buy tor some stripey tights
(x) find mama and papa some french stuff
( ) find french stuff for frank and peggy
( ) find french stuff for nikki and noni
( ) buy camembert
( ) smuggle camembert back to the states in my enormous suitcase
(x) find presents for the kids
( ) vacuum seriously my room
(x) eat leftover chocolate cake
( ) print out ticket info
( ) save some money for ireland
( ) fit the dirty stuff i don't have time to wash into plastic bags, then into my suitcase
( ) write cards for everyone
( ) buy mi-cho-co for tor

eep...

the woes of packing: a reader's lament

oh sigh for the girl
who is packing her room
arranging her clothing
and awaiting the 'vroom'

of the plane that will (hopefully)
take her away, assuming
she doesn't have a large excess baggage fee
to pay and can limit her reading to one book (or three...)

oh sigh for the girl
with too many books
even if she squeezes them
into crannies and nooks

'that bag is still over 32 kilos,' they'll say,
and she'll jump up and down
as they take her books away
for never in a thousand years could she

choose between atwood
and dorothy sayers
between shakespeare and auden
and laurie r. king

between lindgren and molière
and creech, clarke and baudelaire
because choose she will have to, unfortunately--
it's that or pay extra per kilo, you see.

so that's her conundrum--oh what should she do
to ensure that her books can get on that plane too?
for answers she's lacking to improve her sad fare,
though she just might continue to tear out her hair...



i kind of lost the rhyme scheme there (was there ever one?) and the rhythm, but it seemed the best way to express my hopeless task of getting all 150 of my books (and all my clothes, of course) into two suitcases that weigh less than 32 kilos (like 75 pounds maybe?) each.
any ideas?

funny...

how a one-line email can make everything sparkle.

4 DAYS!!!!!!!

till home, and christmas, and 'little women'-like scenes, and singing, and eggnog, and friends and cats and books and laughing.


yaaaaaaay....!!!!!







now i just have to pack.

(applicable)

TAKING LEAVE

When she was leaving
(taxi at the door, engine running)
he wrote, beyond speech,
(the familiar hand grown sketchy)
I didn’t know you were going so soon.

And people leave, it’s like that, always
sooner than they knew,
sooner than they thought, and things don’t wait,
and a whole lifetime
isn’t enough to discover the words.
Uncover, recover the words.

---M.R. Peacocke
---from: Speaking of the Dead. Peterloo Press, 2003

?

on m'a dit que ceux qui m'aiment le plus me feraient le plus pleurer.

mais pourquoi est-ce que *moi* j'aime ceux qui me font le plus pleurer...?


le sigh...

i do my research

(at least when something is totally irrelevant...)

in norse mythology, amber is said to be formed by the tears of freyja falling into the sea.

why this is cool:
-she is associated with the moon and the sea (her father is the sea god)
-she wears a necklace made of 'Brisingamen' (fire gem), and she slept with four dwarves to get it. it is so bright that it makes constellations at night
-she is the goddess of sex and love
-she is one of the valkyrie
-she and odin divide the heroic dead between them after a battle
-orion's belt used to be called 'freyja's girdle'
-she can turn into a falcon
-friday is named after her (and i was born on a friday)
-she rides around the sky in a chariot pulled by grey cats (or that's what i read about in my baby norse mythology book a long time ago, it seems...i can't find any back up for that information though)
-i am theoretically descended from her (the viking kings believed they were descended from the gods and goddesses)

and all this is cool (to me) because...?

i wear a lot of amber. i have received two amber rings, an amber necklace, and amber earrings in the last 3 months, as gifts...it means something, i'm convinced. or thinking it does makes me happy, so i'll keep doing it.

i am a huuuuuge dork.

going to do laundry now.

stolen from la princesse

Take the first sentence from the first post of each month of 2005, and that's your year in review.


*January, 2005*

i guess that's it then...


this is such a waste.

*February, 2005*

"j'aimerais tant savoir souffler comme le vent
faire partir le noir, disparaitre le temps
parler meme tout bas
que pour toi et moi
--tu t'en souviens?"

*March, 2005*

alors...qu'est-ce que je vais faire?

*April, 2005*

yay alex i stole your thingy! (this seems to happen a lot!)

*May 2005*

news:

sara is coming in three weeks and this is ridiculously exciting.

*June 2005*

i haven't forgotten what the sun looks like

but i've forgotten what you look like in the sun.

*July 2005*

(no posts...i was away from the internet)

*August 2005*

not so much.

*September 2005*

i dream i am living in a shell.

*October 2005*

this is me in brussels...aka beer-agogo land.

*November 2005* (switching to wordsouffle now)

it has been a while since i've been good at this...

*December 2005*

for once i've written back to someone i hadn't talked to in about a million years, and maybe we'll get back in contact now!




i had to cheat some, bc some of them were stupid (ie 'this is a new blog!')...meh.

shit

my hair is gone

why is it so short???!?

never trust a hairstylist with no style....utter disaster

frustration

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh


le sigh. i want to bang into something reallyreally hard.


grrrrrr.

craftiness

two things:
1) one of the best things in the world, for me, is when axel (the 5-year-old i take care of) sees me (in the morning, when i pick him up from school, when i pick him up from theater or tae kwan do, etc...) and he gets this joyfully surprised expression on his face and comes dashing over to me and jumps into my arms. god, i love that. i feel so needed. it is wonderful. he's such a little bundle of silliness--i'm going to miss him so much. and clementine too, of course, though at 9 she is less attached to me than axel is, i guess because he's younger...

2) my friends and family do a great deal to keep me sane, for which i am immensely grateful.



.......well, ok, not *sane*, per say, but at least happy.


love, and hugs and seeings-you-all SOON!!

i love paris...

sort of.

i am coming home in 15 days.

que le temps cour vite...i cannot wait.

yay!

i am...falling asleep

Have you Ever...?

Played Spin the Bottle?: oh hell yes
Toilet Paper someone\'s house: nope...what\'s the point?
Played Poker with money: yes. it wasn't my money though.
Gone swimming in a white T-shirt: no
been tickled so hard you couldn\'t talk: aaaaack, yes
like someone but never told them: story of my life, but i\'m so obvious they know anyway
went camping: yes
had a crush on your broher\'s friend: my brother\'s friend? well, when i was 3 i had a crush on my brother\'s friend rich (who was at least 18) because he looked like inigo montoya
walk in the rain without an umbrella: i don\'t believe in umbrellas
told a joke that NObody thought was funny: yes...sigh. and it was funny, too.
been in a talent show: yes. at church.
started laughing at someone\'s bedtime: umm...ok, probably
worn somthing your mom didn\'t appove of: yes! alix olson tshirt
been to a nude beach: accidentally, and not nude
drank jack daniels: yes...ew
cursed i! n a church: yup. and done many other things in a church...oh birthday parties...
been called a slut for kissing someone: yes. i slapped him. hard.
burnt yourslef with a curling iron/straightner: i burn myself on everything
wanted to be a police officer: YES!!
dumped someone: yes
been hit on by someone too old: every day in the parisian metro
wanted to be a model: not really
bought lottery tickets: nope
made out in a car: yes
cried during a movie: i cry during previews. leave me alone!
wanted something you couldn't have: *snorts*
had sex on the beach: no, sadly. not yet, anyway...
had the drink sex on the beach: yes yes yess
seen someone shoplift: yup
hung up on someone: yesh
yelled at you pet: yes. when my kitty barfed on my pillow. when i yelled at him he just stared at me reproachfully
bought a thong when the casheir was a guy: yes
tried to strip when drunk: no, i\'m pretty good at keeping my clothes on (except when aided and abetted by others)
gotten s! easick: nope
had a stalker: yes...or at least, i'm convinced there's someone who stands in the passage outside my window...creeepy. but it may be just in my head.
played a prank on somone that had them really scared: no
been embarassed by one of your family: yes, when i was younger and hadn\'t realized how fucking awesome my family is
felt bad about eating meat: yes
protested: yaaaaay march for women\'s lives!!
been to an island: does england count?
been in love: sadly madly badly
ate jus because you were bored: all the time...it's called the solitary 16
looked at something everybody thought was ugly and said "aww": ...probably
Screamed in a library: yup
Made out with a stranger: yes
Been Dumped: sort of
Wished a part of you was different: wished all of me was different...
asked a guy to dance: yup
been asked out by a really hot guy: yup
laughe so hard ou cried: yes
went up to a complete stranger and started talking: not really mon genre
been sunburned: lol of course...damn pale english skin
kicked a guy in the nuts for being a pervert: no!
threw up in school: no...well, at bmc but it doesn\'t count
recieved an anonymous love letter: yes, but i knew who it was from
had to wear something you hated: yes--can we say toilet-brush sheep costume?
been to a luau: themed party, yes
say your ex and wanted to kick his ass: either that or throw my arms around her
cursed in front of your parents: yes
been in a commerical on tv: nope
watched a movie that made you miss your ex: ........
been out of the country: out of which country?
been honked at by some guy when you were walking down the sidewalk: yes
won at pool: occasionally
went to a party where you were the ony sober one: no, i\'m not too good at staying sober
went on a diet: yup
been lost out to sea: no
cheated on your bf: yes, and my gf too. at the same time.
been cheated on: debateably
tanned topless: noooooo
been attacked by seagulls: they wanted my damn sandwich!!
been ! searched in an airport: yes
been on a plane: obviously
been pants-ed: no
thown a shoe at someone: yes
broke someone's heart: not to my knowledge
sung in the shower: not recently, but always at home
bought something way too expensive: i just spent 48 euros on a turkey.
done something really stupid that you still laugh about: yes, or cringe about anyway
been walked in on when you were dressing: yeup
ran out of a movie theatre because you were too scared of the movie: no
been kicked out of the mall: nope
ben mean to someone then instantly wanted to take it back: yessss
been given a detention on the worst day that you could get one: no, never had dentention
done something stupid when you were drunk: LOL
fell off your roof: no
pretended you were scared so you could cuddle up with someone: YES!
had a deer jump in fron of your car: no, thank goodness
threated someone witha water gun: of course
Can you....
Unwrap a starburst with your tounge: why yes, yes i can
sing: someday i\'ll get my voice back
open your eyes underwater: i am a naiad
eat whatever you want and not have to worry: no...goddammit
ice skate: sort of
sing in front of a crowd: not by myself
whistle: yes
be a bitch at times: i\'ve been told that i am not bitchy enough
do thirty pull ups: no way in hell
walkin in really high heals: for a while
eat super spicy foods: yes, my tastebuds were shot off in the war
skateboard: no
sleep with the lights on: yes, if i\'m really tired
mulititask: not at all
touch your nose with your tounge: yes
fall asleep easily in the car: no
do the cotton eye joe: what?
play ddr and not fall: i hate ddr...there are so much better ways of making a fool of yourself when drunk
surf: never tried
fit in your locker: i don\'t have one, but probably not
do a split! : yes
taste the difference between pepsi and coke: i like to think so


also:


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alt="Journeying Upgraded Lifeform Intended for Assassination and Nocturnal Exploration"
border="0">

listen, it's time to buy my damn carte orange

date today....



huh.

random thought

in fact, 'forgiveness' is often just another way to say 'masochism.'












goodnight.

hee...heee heeee heeeee

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hehehehehe....

yay 2

for once i've written back to someone i hadn't talked to in about a million years, and maybe we'll get back in contact now!!!! soooooo exciting. actually, more than one person. one of them is my friend that i met when i was about 4--not dante, we're still in (relatively) good contact, but another one. we've been friends for so long, but we fell out of contact before my first kiss...and for those of you who don't know, that was 8 years ago...yikes.
only 21 days till i'm back at home, and 45 till bmc...as it's getting closer and closer i'm realizing more and more how fucked i am in terms of valises...there is SO MUCH shit in my room i have no clue as to how it is going to get home...eeeeee, so screwed. and still so broke. i need to stop buying fun swedish lesbian films and start sending boxes of crap home. but that is so not fun.
much love to all, and thanks for the bday wishes...i had a wonderful day!
xo